I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
