yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
