Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
