Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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