Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
