Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My dick has a subreddit
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
