oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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