Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.

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(916): View more from California

I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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(251): View more from Alabama

Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree

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(706): View more from Georgia

So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.

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(360): View more from Washington

I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.

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