sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
