if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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