I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
