My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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