We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
