Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
