Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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