I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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