I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We are all done wearing pants today
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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