I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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