Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
