we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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