Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
