Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
"it" just moved
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
