Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
