when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
