to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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