We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
