i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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