Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize