We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
