I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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