I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
