hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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