I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Where is the hickey?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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