i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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