There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize