i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
