Can i not drive my cunt home
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
