I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
