Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
