David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
