I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Randomize
