I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize