discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your penis caused this!
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