so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
