If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
