why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
