I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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