I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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