so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
