Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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