Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
