you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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