Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
