When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize