Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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