You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
