Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
