I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
