i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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