Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
