I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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